True Story:  I have a friend named BuR.

He goes by BR, but after a few cocktails I like to call him BuR. After a few more cocktails an entire nation is created based on his essence and existence.

On my recent trip to the British Virgin Islands our crew, the 7 of us, accomplished an enormous feat. We actually created a new nation complete with our own language and currency.

I will give you a quick run down of what the BuR Nation is about. There will be more information later when I periodically post details of the BuR Nation birth amongst my other posts about my never-ending failure as a normal human being.

The following is an outline of our constitution, so to speak:

1) We are a peaceful nation. We set our bombs free. Literally.

2) Our national color is pink. You are rewarded for out pinking the other members of the tribe.

3) Our currency is pink and instead of “In God We Trust” it states “We Understand That” across the top. The exchange rate is 75%. We are worth it. We know you don’t like that rate and we understand that.

4) National holidays are often and “To Be Announced”. Mondays and Wednesdays are perfect for spur of the moment national holidays.

5) We speak BuRanease. It is basically English but with all words ending in ur, or RRRRRRRRRRR.

Example: Get smur and lur.

Translation: Get small and low. From time to time in BuRland you have to get small and low. Eventually, you will understand that.

6) We salute. You get lur (low) and put your right hand above your face like a sun visor. You can be kicked off the island for not returning a salur (salute).

7) We have picked out some land to claim in the British Virgins. We are going to take over the dogs. They are a rocky bunch of islands, so from time to time we may load the whole tribe on a floating vessel and become a nation on the move. When we are in port fun-loving people may come aboard, after exchanging their money of course, to be with the BuR people.

8) We go on mission trips. Sometimes, perhaps during a national holiday, we feel as though we should spread the love around. In this case we may moor up to another island or land mass, invade for a while, buy drinks, and teach our language and ideals to the natives. So far we have been met with some confusion with the language barrier, but then acceptance usually prevails. We have had no total conversions yet.

9) The BuR people do not judge. You may marry anyone or thing you like, including inanimate objects. If you enjoy the company of a beautiful boulder at sunset who listens to you, and think it would make for a suitable mate, by all means, the BuR people approve.

10) We import Pain Killers (famous Virgin Island rum drink) and export humor.

True Story: You are ready to move to BuRland aren’t you?