True Story

{January 22, 2013}   MIA

True Story:  Happy New Year! I’ve been MIA, and not just from blogging.

Hell, I’ve been working on this blog for weeks. I was going to post about a trip home from Vegas last month and then I thought you can’t just post out of the blue after months of a hiatus/coma/writer’s block without an explanation.

Brace yourselves: excuses coming. Busy, real estate work, Kindergarten (game changer), working on a screenplay, day dreaming, Netflix streaming (Gossip Girl. Don’t tell anyone), drinking wine, and if I’m honest, a little bit of depression.

You know how you don’t know you’re in the sh*t until your out of the sh*t? Examples: We don’t know we’re in a recession until 6 months into it. We don’t know our politicians can’t get anything done until it’s the night before their deadline. We don’t know 10lbs. is sneaking up until we can’t button our pants. You don’t know he’s cheating until you find the panties in the couch. See where I’m going with this?

True Story:  I haven’t been REALLY living any fun true stories to tell you.

Instead, I suppose I have been sulking and thinking and existing.

I had to start fighting my way out of this rut/depression/give-up, to even see that I was in the rut/depression/give-up. I have written many times here that the last few years have not been the easiest. Of course, after watching the horror of recent events in this country and throughout the world,  I really haven’t been through sh*t, have I?

Included in the personal trials of the last few years there have also been some very exciting times; like a feature film at Sundance, meeting all kinds of people and travelling, watching an amazing little boy grow up, and fun new changes for my family and friends.

Those upward turns to a positive, persistent personality like myself can mask the bad that’s going on. I have also mentioned here that I am a positive, never-give-upper to a point of detriment to myself. Meaning, the writing’s on the wall and I am in denial because it will turn around. Though definitely still this person, I’ll admit with age comes some sense of well, f*ck, maybe it won’t turn around this time.

I am finally ready to admit what Kenny Rogers has been trying to tell me for a long time, “you got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, and know when to walk away.”

True Story:  I LOVE A NEW YEAR.

I don’t mean the party the night before. Think about it. In your whole life you can probably count on one hand how many fabulous new years eves you’ve had. The evenings usually have way too much build up, or you end up party chasing only to find there wasn’t a kiss at the end of the night anyway. I blame Nora Ephron (RIP), When Harry Met Sally, and all the other TV shows and movies for this new year’s eve myth of a perfect night.

What I love about the new year is a clean slate. I love starting over, second chances and Monday mornings to redeem yourself. I get very excited to buy my new day planner/calendar for the year and write things in it. I choose to believe it doesn’t matter if you have pizza or fried chicken on Sunday because you can always have a slim fast shake for breakfast Monday morning. My Dad and I always say, “it’s day 1.”

Alas, but where’s the girl that tells everyone to just watch and see, I’ll get it done? Where’s the girl that says don’t tell me I can’t be a filmmaker, a writer, transform my body with crossfit, or win the lottery?

The answer my friends, is 37. The answer is so many ups and downs that at some point you say “I don’t know if I can get back up this time.”

Like the real estate market, I do believe I have bottomed out and am on the upswing. There is just less gusto in that swing this time. I am sure folks older than me are laughing and saying, “you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

True Story: My attitude really pisses me off because I read a lot of inspirational quotes on facebook and nothing so far. Nada, no attitude adjustment at all.

I guess this new years I find myself a little bit jaded and gut punched. If I wasn’t so damn optimistic I would know just because you are up here one day, doesn’t mean you won’t be back down there again.

Examples: You work hard on a relationship and it ends anyway. You have a successful real estate business and fight through bubbles bursting, bad economies, oil spills and hurricanes only to find when the market improves you still have trouble getting to the closing table. You reach a pinnacle in Independent film only to find you got to come back home and start all over again and make another one.

That’s it! I’ve figured this whole life thing out: Do it. Do it again. Do it again. Then, do it one more time because no one is going to do it for you.

I don’t think that inspirational quote would get a ton of LIKES on facebook.

True Story: I love a comeback, and I am planning my own.

I am sorry I didn’t post to you loyal readers here for (I can barely bring myself to type this) 6 months. It took about 2 weeks just to write this post. 1 step at a time, right? I am saying it here and now, loud and proud: I AM BLOGGING, WRITING SCRIPTS, AND MANUSCRIPTS IN THE YEAR 2013 AD. Also, planning an upgrade to my generic vanilla blog design. I Welcome any ideas.

Toodles, until next time!

True Story: Facebook worthy inspiring quotes below.

‎”Determine that the thing can and should be done and together we shall find a way.” –  Abraham Lincoln

“The Best way out is always through” – Robert Frost

et cetera