True Story:  Children’s phases are one of the coolest things about motherhood. 

I really try to enjoy them. Cause when they’re gone, they’re gone. Remember Ricky & Louie? We don’t see them very much anymore.

Right now G Monkey needs me to validate everything he says. As I mentioned before, he spoke later in his development. He always understood everything we were saying and what everything was called. He could even speak the word if he wanted to. He just preferred to think about things, rather than talk about them.

True Story:  We are not sure who his real parents are.

I think it was Pump who conceived this child with me on my birthday camping trip a few years back…

It WAS dark out, though.

Neither Pump, nor myself, think very often or know how to be quiet. So, it was very shocking that we had a sweet, quiet, thoughtful child.

Well, it all comes to an end at some point, right?

Some time back after a weekend spent with his younger cousin, also known as G, who has talked like a politician since the womb, G Monkey began speaking more. I think after witnessing his cousin, he realized he could get more from us if he used words instead of pointing and whining.

It really was over-night like that. He just started talking. Now that he is, he really enjoys the validation he gets by correctly identifying something or using the correct phrase or endearment.

Example:

I pour a cup of coffee in the morning half asleep.

G Monkey:  MMMMMMM! Hot Coffee.

Me:  Yes…

He tugs on my PJs.

G Monkey:  MMMMMM!!!!! HOT COFFEE!

Me:  Yes, baby, Mommy’s hot coffee.

Okay, so now I have identified his subject matter, right?  It doesn’t stop there.

Now he will have to go through every phrase, or description he knows, that will let me know that he understands that I like my coffee.

Stay with me here… Examples: 

I try to sit down at my computer to check what happened in the world while I slept. Meanwhile, G Monkey yells these phrases to me. If I don’t pay enough attention, he will grab my face and yell into my eyes.

G Monkey:  MMMMMMMMMMM! Coffee, SOOOOOOOOO Good!

G Monkey:  MMMMMMMMM! Coffee is sooooooooo Tasty.

G Monkey:  MMMMMMMMMM! Yummy!

G Monkey:  MMMMMMM! MMMMMMMM! Excellent. (The MIL taught him that word)

This goes on and on… Until he runs out of descriptions. I just nod my head in agreement until he goes away.

The best is when he does these same phrases to the beer I am drinking at a restaurant.

True Story:  My two-year-old has had neither a sip of my beer nor my coffee. Ever.

Just thought I should point that out before you all give me the “mother of the year” award. 

The best though, is when he has an accident or does something wrong; or even sees an accident on TV. He will run up to me and go, “UH OH!”

Me:  Uh Oh.

He runs back to the scene of the crime… Then back to me.

G Monkey:  Whoopsie Daisy!

Runs back and forth again.

G Monkey:  What happened?!?!

Runs back and forth again.

G Monkey:  Sawwee, Mommy!

Me:  That’s okay Buddy…

And then it starts over again…

G Monkey:  Uh OH!

True Story:  I never knew my son knew what a beer was.

When you have a child that talked a little later in developement, you forget what sponges they are. He picks up my beer the other day and says, “Mommy’s beer”.

Me:  That’s right. That’s Mommy’s beer.

I’m thinking I never told him what a beer was….

Oh yeah. I guess he must have heard it a thousand times.

Me:  Pump, would you grab me a beer.

Me:  Hey Pump, how bout a beer?

Me:  Pump, you want a beer?

Me:  Pump, Momma’s thirsty.

Pump:  Is it beer thirty?

Pump:  Want to crush a couple beers?

Pump:  I’m thinking about sizzlin a few beers.

Makes since now.

So the other evening we are attending an art show, Myself, Pump, & G Monkey.

They have complimentary wine and snacks. Pump and I are both enjoying a cup of white wine. G Monkey is running around eating chips and what not. He see’s my cup and stops suddenly.

G Monkey:  WINE!!!!

Me:  Shh. Yes, baby, that’s Mommy’s wine.

G Monkey:  WINE!!!

Me:  Wine is for Mommy’s & Daddy’s and grown people. You want some water?

G Monkey:  I want wine!

Me:  You can’t have wine. You can have water.

He reaches for my cup.

G Monkey:  Mines wine!

At this point it is starting to get loud. People are trying to have intellectual, artful conversations, probably wondering why a 2-year-old is there in the 1st place, and why he knows what wine is. I am starting to feel the eyes of “how is she going to handle this” on me.

What would you do?

I chose to take his cup of water & add a splash of the lovely green tea they were serving, hand it to my kid and say, “Here you go. Wine”.

He danced off doing the hot diggity dog dance.

True Story:  We don’t get handbooks… Oh wait, I think there are some parenting handbooks lying around here somewhere???