True Story: I used to be a hypochondriac, so they say. Mainly I think it was my anxiety and panic disorder. If I felt any strange pang in my body I was dying.

Now, older, I am resigned to my health and what ever happens to me. I don’t worry so much about illness & death anymore. I do aggressively try to stay alive though, and keep my child & husband alive.

I don’t think Pump is a hypochondriac, but like most typical men he is “dying” when he is sick and sees the inside of a doctor’s office once every five years.

The second to last time I got him to go to the doctor (5 years ago) the doc ran down the list of his problems, wrote some scrips, and he pretty much walked out of there and tore her list up. So, in reality, him going in for a check up is probably a waste of our co-pay. I spend the money I’m saving on his medical care on life insurance. Big policy.

Example: If he has a hang over, he asks me to take his temperature. It’s never just a cold or exhaustion. If he gets the sniffles, he’s terminal.

That being said, he has been complaining of being sick for the last couple of months. Mind you, he’s been working out, partying, working, but apparently, all the while knocking on death’s door.

I finally talk him into going to the doc. She diagnoses a sinus infection. WTF? I have had allergies & sinus infections my entire life. When I get sick it’s a sinus infection. So I am blown away by this diagnosis because he appears completely healthy. Where I duck tape a box of Kleenex to my arm when I have a sinus infection, he’s over here high-fiving people because he “really” is sick this time.

We go to pick up his scrips from the Pharmacy… The pharmacist throws 3 different medicines out there and said, “$85 dollars”. I looked at Pump and told him to pick one.