True Story: I have drooled over Dyson vacuums forever.

I could never justify spending that kind of $$$ on a vacuum. I am not a person who likes to clean. But I am a germaphobe with a shedding Jack Russel.

I finally decide it is an “investment” like a good pair of shoes and head off to Wally World to pick her out.

True story: As I am walking through Wal-Mart with my Dyson in my cart a woman points to it and says to her husband, “Now that’s a good investment”. I was beaming with pride. She actually used my word.

I got it home and Pump and I fought over who would get to vacuum first. I won.

True Back Story: After a couple of years of dating and bonding with my family, my famously inappropriate husband says aloud in mixed company one day, “If I were to make love to a man, it would be _ _” Insert my dad’s name there.

We were not sure whether to laugh or have a “family Meeting”. It has since become an ongoing family joke.

Back to the Dyson:  So while I am sucking up dust mites and dog hair with my new amazing machine I say, “If I were to make love to a vacuum…”

Pump:  You can. I’ve seen it on the internet…

PS: If I were to make love to a man. It would be Mr. Dyson.