True Story:   Pump can get a wild hair sometimes and something totally ridiculous and insane will come out of his mouth. He will fight for that opinion anywhere from 2 hours – 2 days, and then out of the blue change his mind and apologize.

Example 1:  The all fruit diet

True Story:  Pump and I were living in Los Angeles at the time, broke as a joke and fighting constantly over stupid stuff.

We were headed to the movie theater one day. In LA this can take an entire day, the afternoon at a minimum. While stuck in traffic, where many arguments take place, Pump informs me that he is embarking on an “all fruit diet”. Seeing an opportunity to prove him wrong and myself right I say, “That is ridiculous. You have to eat a well balanced diet, just less of it”.

This “discussion” escalates to a fight. Now I don’t “support” him and his decisions. He is choosing a healthier lifestyle and I am not supportive. This goes on for 2 hours until we get to the snack bar of the movie theater. The young man behind the counter looks at us for our order.

Pump: Um, I’ll have nachos, a hot dog all the way, and a large cherry icy. Thanks.

Example 2:   The Pre-nup

True Story:  Pump is famous for ruining “family days”. He usually picks a fight with one of my family members or me.

We live at the beach so when friends and family come in town we usually visit a famous honky tonk or two. Hit the beach, etc… You get it. We have a good time.

One night my sisters, and some friends and Pump and I are at Lulu’s in Gulf Shores, listening to a good band and having a margarita. It’s about a year before Pump and I get married. We are already engaged.

Pump decides things are going to smoothly, and after sitting there thoughtful for awhile, announces to everyone that he wants me to sign a pre-nup.

True Backstory:  Pump has never had a $1 to his name. The joke in the family is that he made one figure this year, when we discuss salaries. I sold him my 1993 Toyota Corolla in college for $1,000. It took him 2 years to pay it off.

Back to Lulu’s:

Me:   Write it up buddy. Half of nothing’s nothing.