True Story

{July 1, 2010}   5th Grade Yearbook

True Story:  Kids say the darndest things:

Entry # 1 Circa 1986

To a crazy and sweet friend. You are very nice to me. So, therefore I will be nice to you. Good luck throughout all the years.



Have fun with Archie

5th grade rules:  You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.

Archie must have been my main squeeze for a while.

 Entry # 2

To a good friend that I would like to play tennis with again.



Sure, anytime.

Entry # 3

To a crazy and wild friend. Ha Ha. Your someone to talk to. Be nice if you can. Ha Ha. Good luck.


Entry #4


Like you wrote in my annual you’ve been a friend all year. You’ve even cheated with me. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! No I don’t really cheat, just on daily work. Like you said, you probably won’t get out of here alive. Well bye!


LYLAS – for those of you that don’t know, means “Love Ya Like A Sister”. Apparently 5th grade was so traumatic, I didn’t think I would get out of there alive. I clearly didn’t know anything about cancer, oil spills, or toddlers with stomach bugs…

Entry # 5

To a very sexy girl.


WTF??? People, this is what your 5th graders are talking about. And this was before the internet and/or sexting.

Entry# 6


Good luck with the guys. Ha Ha.


Where is she now??? I need help .

Entry #7

To a good friend that don’t tell my secrets at ALL and I thank you.

Love, JR

I still can keep other people’s secrets, just not my own. Case in point, this blog.

Entry #8

Have fun! You’re so sexy! I love you!


Again, WTF??? How can a 5th grader be sexy? I didn’t even go through puberty till 7th grade.

Entry # 9

To a nerdy girl.


Some things never change.

Entry # 10

To a weirdo.


Love it!

Entry # 11


You’re awesome! Stay that way!.

Love ya, Awesome Ash!

I wrote that to myself. Healthy, healthy, self-esteem. Again, nobody changes.

Entry# 12

Call me 555-5555


Entry # 13

To the best sexiest woman I have ever seen till Brandie. I still think she looks hotter in the yearbook. And I hope that I pass. Because if I do, I hope to be in the same class next year.

Love, S – The Best

Brandie, that b*tch. I might have been hanging out with the wrong crowd. Thoughts?

Entry # 13

To my Best friend, I will always remember you. Write me sometime. I’ll write you! See you whenever. Talk to you later!


I’m getting mixed signals here.

Entry # 14

To a great, hey, wait everybody’s been saying that. I know we’ve had our share of fights. But I still think we are the best 2 of friends that could be. Remember, you can always lean on me! Ha Ha! (the song). See you next year.

Sweet S

She tried to beat me up on a daily basis after writing this.

Entry # 15

Ashley, this is in 1990.


That would be my youngest sister meddling in my beeswax. Probably in my room when she wasn’t supposed to be.

Entry # 16

The feeling is mutual. You’re a butthole, but you are okay.


I guess I started it.

And Finally Entry # 17

To Awesome girl Ash,

N – Lover Boy – N

True Story:  I had forgotten how dirty minded 5th grade boys are. It all comes full circle. I should have learned back then not to mess with them.

I only found this yearbook and was able to reminisce because it was in a stack of books and things returned to me recently, after I had piled ALL of Ex-Pump’s things outside and said, “better get it all before it rains”.

Some girls never learn.

HAAHAHA. WTHELL? who says sexy? in the 5th grade? it must have been all those back handsprings you were doing. I seriously wish you would have put their real names so I could laugh even harder.

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