True Story:  Not only does my son read a book 2 days before his 3rd Birthday (Momma plug: YouTube: Gray reads a book) but he also knows how to Bullshit.

Seriously. Example:

I pick him up today from Ma’am Juwee’s house (one of his grandmothers). The minute I walk in the room he says, “I want a cookie,” and turns to Juli (Ma’am Juwee) and does a slow long wink with one eye. He’s not sophisticated enough to know not to let me see the wink, but continues to say this and wink over and over, until we both think it is so cute that we look for a cookie to give him. And, so that we instill in him this very suave behavior.

Ladies I’m here to tell you how to raise a Ladies Man… Of course, only if you want one. Hehe.

Example #2:

Me:  G Monkey, did you poop in your pants?

G Monkey:  Nope.

Me:  Don’t tell a story. Don’t tell a lie. Do you want the sad spoon? (A baking spatula with a sad face drawn on it with a sharpie)

G Monkey:  No… Hahahaha… I so funny… I SOOOOOOOOOOO funny. (That means, of course, there is poop in my pants and I don’t want to get caught telling a story, or get the sad spoon).

True Story:  He has really only had Sad Spoon laid to thigh a couple of times. The threat of it is much worse.

He’s like one of those guys that will insult you, then end every insult with, “I’m just kidding”. You know the ones. Come on, grow a pair and land an insult. Don’t just cover them up with I’m just kidding.

I’m sorry, I stepped back into the adult real world. Back to my amazing kid.

Of course he melts me every time with, “I so funny”. Just like when he says, “Oh, I so sad”.

Example: 

Me:  G Monkey, what do you want for breakfast?

G Monkey:  Birthday cake.

Me:  No, you can’t have cake for breakfast.

G Monkey:  Oh… I so saaaa-yaadd. 

Point in case. Are you melting yet? Wait till you see his little face when he says it.

 True Story:  All I want is for him to be happy and healthy. The fact that he reads early… Cherries on top baby… Cherries.