True Story:  I promise I don’t mention the word penis in all my posts to get a lot of hits on my site from the pervs out there searching. This really did happen verbatim.

True Back Story:  G Monkey is in a phase right now where he calls everything little, “wittle”.

Example:  He’s holding a stuffed animal and says, “he has a wittle hat”. He sees a baby and says, “she has a wittle feet”. He sees an elephant on TV and says, “He has a wittle trunk”. You get the picture. I have to give this disclaimer for Nephew’s pride in coming years if he reads this. G Monkey doesn’t necessarily mean something is actually little when he uses this phrasing.

So G Monkey and Nephew are lying on the bed reading books. Nephew is potty trained and only has a shirt on because apparently he needs to take his big boy underwear all the way off to pee every time.

G Monkey:  He’s got a wittle penis.

Me:  Yes, he has a penis too, like you. He’s a boy.

G Monkey tries to lift my nightgown.

G Monkey:  Does Mommy have a penis?

Me:  No, Mommy doesn’t have one because she’s a girl.

Nephew looks up from the book he is reading and stares deadpan into my eyes.

Nephew:  My Mommy has a penis.

True Story:  His Mommy is better than your Mommy.