True Story

{December 2, 2010}   Transparenting

True Story:  When you get divorced in Baldwin County, Alabama, and you have a minor child you are required to take a “Transparenting” class.

You have to take the class before the judge will sign your divorce decree. It was only offered one Saturday at 8am near Ex-Pump and I so we signed up for the same class.

It’s almost like you are being punished for getting a divorce. Okay, you want to end your marriage and you have a child, well then you have to go to a boring ass class on a Saturday morning in a cold government building. So, there. You remember that next time you decide to get married, have a baby and throw in the towel.

Yes I will…

Funnies from Transparenting class:

1) There was a “super student” up front. A man about 40 something raised his hand every 5 minutes and had lots of “input”. Pa-Leeze… This is a court-ordered class that we all just want to get our graduation certificate from and get the hell out of there.

2) Ex-Pump and I wondered if we would be the only somewhat amicable couple divorcing in class…. Apparently not, the Mom of the couple next to us would hit her soon to be ex and roll her eyes and go, “Mmm hmm”. Every time the teacher said something of relevance.

3) The couple in front of us couldn’t appear more in love. Ex-Pump wrote me a note on our “workbook”:  “This class brought them back together”.

We finally decided he must be new Step Daddy… Some people move on faster than others, seeing as how you have to take this class before the judge will sign off on your divorce.

4) It was a big SEC game day. LSU and Auburn, 2 undefeated teams at the time. The guy sitting next to me was wearing an LSU shirt. During a break I said, “big game today, huh?”.

Ex-Pump:  Please don’t start dating in front of me.

True Story:  They told us where we could go to support groups and asked that we please not try to get laid there.

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