True Story:  I just spent 12 nights in Park City, UT. The following are excerpts from this trip:

The hot tub was really cool the first couple of nights, then it went out of style, and then came back in style at the end of our stay.

Hot tubs make me puffy.

It takes 4 days to acclimate from sea level to 8,000 feet.

During strip poker only one guy got down to his compass. No, you dirty birds. He actually wears a compass around his neck under his clothes.

I had 9 people sleeping in my bedroom on at least 1 night.

“Everybody snores, but you take it to a whole new level. You’re sleeping in the closet”.

“Hey, James Franco and Scorses’ daughter just walked in at sat on the front row of your premier”.

The buses are free.

“Text me where you land on Main Street”.

“Well, we’re drunk again”.

“Can someone call somebody and see what we are supposed to be doing”.

“Has anybody seen my…”

“Who did you see today”?     “Danny Glover”.     “Cool”.

$213 for a Doctor to write me a scrip for an antibiotic for a bacterial infection probably caught from the hot tub… No out-of-state insurance allowed.

Again, I don’t think there is anything wrong with this country’s health care system… Sarcasm raining.

“Cheers to Prairie Love”!     “TO PRAIRIE LOVE”!!!

On the plane ride over, Ex-Pump is reading aloud to me from Entertainment weekly:

Ex-Pump:  The Hang Over 2 set was so hot and miserable that all types of “douche-baggery” ensued.

Me:  What? Douche-baggery? Let me see that.

I look over his shoulder to read.

Me:  It’s “debauchery”

True Story:  Douche-baggery was the theme of the festival. Anytime anyone was acting up, they were causing lots of douche-baggery.