True Story:  I’ve tried everything…

When will I be thin enough? Good enough?

My friend and I came up with the perfect diet:

Take a shot of hot sauce on your tongue… Let it settle…

It makes it seem like you have had a great Mexican dinner…

Then, you smoke a cigarette…

You’re done. Your tummy and mouth feel like you have had a good meal.

True Story:  Do not share this with your anorexic friends.