True Story:  I don’t really have much.

Never have. I try to look good, really. But sometimes it doesn’t work out so well.

I feel like with every fashion fad out there, I’ve always just been a little bit off…

I will wear what everyone else has on, or fix my hair in the style of the day. Yet for some reason I am never complimented, and often looked at by other women with their heads cocked to the side in a “hhhmmm fashion”.

Examples:

When everyone was wearing teased bangs, my aunt asked me why I had a puff-ball on top of my head.

When everyone was wearing the boys button-downs and rugby shirts, all the girls looked sporty and cute. I looked like… Well, an actual boy I think. Despite the DDs.

I stomp around painfully in high heels for 5 minutes until I eventually kick them off to go barefoot. Other women glide in them all night.

Mini skirts, skinny jeans, tunics and leggings, bomber jackets, giant hoop earrings, orange and hot pink, bell bottoms… Who can keep up?

And now… Jeggings.

Should I have been surprised when several people asked to be my stylist when they found out my film was going to Sundance, and I would be hob- nobbing with celebs for 2 weeks? Not really.

I tried to pull off the boots and jeggings out there, but when I look back at the pictures I can’t figure out where I went wrong.

In high school I once wore turquoise pants and a pink and white striped button down. I thought it looked good, right?

It is still a source of entertainment for my girlfriends, 15 years later.

I tried one of those cute sweater dresses over leggings in Park City. My Mom walks in the room and says, “Women like us shouldn’t wear those”.

I’m told, “Don’t wear your clothes too tight Ashley. Makes you look fat”. “Where fitted clothes Ashley, or you’ll look fat”.

Every time I see someone who hasn’t seen me in 2 weeks,  they think I’ve lost weight when I haven’t; and every time I am in a swim-suit in front of people they say, “You’re smaller than I remember”.

I can only conclude that when people think of  “Ashley”, they think large, un-stylish woman.

As of recently, my stylish sister with the cute online boutique over at www.blairlouise.com offered to make my blog cuter.

I give up.

True Story:  I think, at least during the warm months, I am just going naked. That way my clothes won’t be too tight or too loose, and people won’t forget my size.